Monday's Mischief

A Few Words for Lexophiles* to Think About

1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired. 

   
2. A will is a dead giveaway. 

   
3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. 

   
4. A backward poet writes inverse. 

   
5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes. 

   
6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion. 

   
7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed. 

   
8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress. 

   
9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you a flat miner.
   
10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. 

    
11. The guy who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. 

    
12. A bomb exploding on a kitchen floor in France resulted in linoleum blown apart. 

    
13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. 

    
14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under. 

    
15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key. 

    
16. A calendar's days are numbered. 

    
17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine. 

    
18. A boiled egg is hard to beat. 

    
19. He has a photographic memory which he has never developed. 

    
20. A plateau is a high form of flattery. 

    
21. A short fortuneteller who escaped from prison is a small medium at large.
    
22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. 

    
23. When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall. 

    
24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine. 

    
25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye. 

    
26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis. 

    
27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. 

    
28. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

*lexophile = one who loves words