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Monday, June 16, 2008

Monday's Mischief

A Few Words for Lexophiles* to Think About
  1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired. 

  2. A will is a dead giveaway. 

  3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. 

  4. A backward poet writes inverse. 

  5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes. 

  6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion. 

  7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed. 

  8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress. 

  9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you a flat miner.
  10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. 

  11. The guy who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered. 

  12. A bomb exploding on a kitchen floor in France resulted in linoleum blown apart. 

  13. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. 

  14. Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under. 

  15. He broke into song because he couldn't find the key. 

  16. A calendar's days are numbered. 

  17. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine. 

  18. A boiled egg is hard to beat. 

  19. He has a photographic memory which he has never developed. 

  20. A plateau is a high form of flattery. 

  21. A short fortuneteller who escaped from prison is a small medium at large.
  22. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. 

  23. When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall. 

  24. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine. 

  25. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye. 

  26. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis. 

  27. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. 

  28. Acupuncture is a jab well done.
*lexophile = one who loves words

4 comments:

Keetha said...

Very clever

Liz Wright said...

Sooo fun!!!

Marcia said...

Just to clarify.... This is NOT my work. I'm beginning to think maybe I should identify what's mine and what isn't.

Trace'in the Grace said...

You makka me laff!! ESpecially #25.