An Author in Training - "Know Thyself" (Part 2)

I know, I know . . . .

I promised back on July 25, that I'd tell you what I'd learned about myself as a writer. So, here you go:

I ran into a major case of writer's block early in the summer and I couldn't figure out why. As I struggled with understanding it and overcoming it, I reached what I believe is a major insight about myself as a writer. I realized that at the beginning of the summer, I submitted a book proposal to an agent, for a book still in progress, and it was after that when the writer's block showed up.

Now I think I know why. One of the ingredients of a proposal is a chapter-by-chapter outline of the story. Some writers do their best writing from an outline--what I would call a "constructed" writer. Other write their best by letting the story grow--what I'm calling an "organic" writer.

Long story short, I think I'm an organic writer. I find my best writing happens when I let the story grow as it grows. I may prune it, train it, re-pot, graft bits onto it, but basically, it is what it grows to be. For me, that seems to result in a story that feels like it's being told by someone who was there.

My problem this summer? I had an outline! I've always been taught that a good writer "should" create and write from an outline. So, I was trying to be a "good" writer, and write the story the way the outline said it was going to go. What does an outline know? My characters and I decide what's going to happen next! That's what makes writing fun and interesting for me (and I think for my readers).

So, I've decided to ditch the outline. Oh, I'll stick it in a drawer and refer to it for general guidelines--sort of. But I know where the story started from, and I know where it's going. (The ending is already pretty much written.) I'm excited to see how it grows.

You're welcome to come along for the ride.

P.S. I'm coming to believe that all of us tend to naturally live our lives more one way or the other—constructed or organic. There's no right or wrong. Asking which one is right is like asking, "Which is right, an oak tree or a house?" There's a place for both. The problem comes if we can't flex enough to use the other approach when necessary. Which way seems to work better for you?

Spoon! - another sample

Eva had awakened that morning with a song running through her mind. She tried to remember where she had heard it; whose song it was. After a few moments' thought, she remembered—it was the song of the mountains, rising to the east beyond the garden. The melody soared and plunged, with clear, high notes, followed by a deep thrumming, almost too low to hear. As it repeated itself in her head, she felt a sudden inspiration. She could combine the various songs to make a symphony of praise!

Eva began to search through the melodies she had stored in her memory for other parts of the song . . . a tree! A towering evergreen, its shape mimicking that of the mountain and the whispering swish of its needles a delicate counterpoint to the mountain's song. Next she thought of a small, clear mountain stream, glittering in the sunlight and tingling its way downhill toward the center of the garden. The next part she thought was a meadow filled with the low humming of bees, interspersed with the varied chimes of an assortment of flowers, finishing with the grace notes of butterflies, flitting here and there through the composition.

  Eva breathed a sigh of satisfaction at the arrangement she had thought of. If she could think of it, it must exist somewhere. Humming the song she had put together, she set out to find the place where it existed.

Prayer for Troubled Days

Ii have yet to share my insight about myself as a writer, which I will do soon, I promise.

I just felt that, with all the bad news lately, it was time for another printed prayer. So many people are feeling harrassed, attacked, overwhelmed, etc., etc. Here is a prayer I wrote, based on Psalm 142:


A Prayer for Troubled Days

O Lord hear my cries
O Lord show me mercy
I ache to the depths of my soul
Guard my spirit
As I walk through this valley
Of traps and snares
This valley that feels like death
O Lord you see
There is no one beside me
No one holds my hand
Or protects me
Or encourages me
As if to them I have no soul

But I cry out to you O Lord
You are my hiding place
My shelter
My fortress
You are the core
The reason for my life
O Lord
You have heard my desperate cry
You will spare me from my pursuers
That they will not overpower me
You have freed my soul from its prison
And I will give glory to your name
O Lord
Gather your people around me
And I will declare
Your blessing
Your mercy
Your unfailing love to me
All of my days

Amen

(based on Psalm 142)

Author in Training - "Know Thyself"

If you  hadn't guessed, I've been in the doldrums lately with my writing. Sitting, staring at the computer screen. Lots of time to think. And if something's not working, I analyze it. I (figuratively) disassemble it. In the process this time, I've come up with a couple things.

The first one is about me, as a person. A while ago, someone did something that hurt me very deeply. They said they were sorry, but to me, they didn't really seem to "get it"—they weren't sorry enough to suit me. And I developed a lousy attitude toward them. It colored how I perceived everything they said or did. It was part hurt, part anger, and part fear that they would hurt me again.

Then, to top it off, we had a major disagreement. About something I consider important, and so do they. My attitude got so bad, I felt on edge whenever they were around. And they picked up on it, which influenced how all my words and actions got interpreted.

Then the other night, I had an insight. Me having that attitude is not pleasing to God. I needed to change. I looked at my old excuses. "They aren't sorry enough. They're wrong in what they believe about ________. They don't "get" how badly they hurt me. They have a lousy attitude." Then I took a long hard look at what was on the other side of the scale: God calls me to have a good attitude toward everyone.

 It doesn't matter if they have a bad attitude, if I believe they are wrong in our discussion, if they are just plain rude and don't "deserve" my kindness. The fact is, God is kind, and He calls me to be like Him. I can still disagree with the other person, even stand up for what I believe in the discussion, but it must be done with kindness and a good attitude. It isn't a question of whether or not the other person deserves my kindness. It is a question of whether or not I will obey God—and He "deserves" my obedience.

Well, that's it for the first insight. The second one is about my writing . . . and it will have to wait until tomorrow. Hey, that's the breaks! See you tomorrow.

An Author in Training - Conspiracy Theory

(Pssst!)
Come here....
Yeah, you.
You''re a faithful reader, riiiiiiight?
I thought so.
This message is written in special ink, that can only be read by faithful readers.
I've got a secret message for you....
(Cue "Pink Panther" music)

A crack team of investigators have uncovered evidence that there may be forces, operating behind the scenes, which are attempting to squelch the publication of Serpentine. The leader of the group whose nefarious plans will be exposed in this tell-all book, is repotted to be "walking around, roaring like a lion," and making claims that he is a "perfect angel," but a spokesperson for the opposition has issued a statement saying, "our adversary was a liar from the beginning."

This writer is determined to see the project through to publication.

Check back for more details, as this story unfolds!