I'M AN AMAZON AUTHOR!!!

I've published several books, in a variety of genres, on Amazon.
Search under the name, "Marcia Gunnett Woodard".

Monday, August 25, 2008

Monday's Mischief

The relatives gathered in the waiting room of the hospital where their family member lay gravely ill. After what seemed like an eternity, the doctor finally joined them, looking tired and somber.

"I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental treatment, and very risky, but it is their only chance. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves....'

The family members sat in silence as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain."

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.

Eventually, a man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more expensive?"

The doctor smiled at the man's childish innocence and explained to the entire group, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they're used."

Sunday, August 24, 2008

I'm back!...I think....

Hi there!  After an unscheduled hiatus, I'm back!...I think....  With family home a lot more, I didn't always have time to post during the day.  And with all the summertime activities, I didn't always have energy to post at night!  But people are  back in school now, so that will hopefully free up some more writing time.  

I'll start off with a joke today, and another tomorrow, for Monday Mischief.  Ready?

There once was a major league pitcher named Mel Famey who played relief for his team. On this particular day, near the end of the game, the starting pitcher was still doing so well that Mel decided he wasn't going to be needed.  He had smuggled a 6-pack into the dugout, so he started to drink the beers, one right after another. Well, right after Mel had polished off the 6-pack, the starting pitcher threw out his shoulder. The manager called on Mel to go out and finish the game. Mel was so loaded that he could barely see straight, let alone throw straight, and walked the other team to victory. As the winning team headed to the showers they went by Mel's team's dugout and saw the pile of beer cans that Mel had left. "Look...", said one of the winning players....




















"...that's the beer that made Mel Famey walk us!"