My sister sent me a note today, referring to the movie "Joe vs the Volcano." It's a favorite of both of us, and she was referring to a couple quotes that could apply to my situation.
I got thinking about the movie and remembered one of my favorite lines. It takes place after Joe has survived a typhoon, a shipwreck, and a day adrift at sea in the unrelenting sun. As the moon rises, Joe prays. He's very weakened, still adrift, and has no clue what the next day will hold. His prayer? "O God, whose name I do not know, thank you for my life!"
The only thing cooler than that is the prayer I have the privilege of praying:
"O God, whose name I DO know, thank you for my life!"
Friday, July 14, 2006
"Theme of the Week"
Well, apparently the theme of the week is "Birds."
This morning, Caleb was looking out the window when a bird slammed into the glass! It sort of "staggered back" in the air, gathered its wits, and flew away. When he told me, he hadn't heard my hummingbird story yet. Hmmmm....
After I thought about it for a while, I realized the bird that hit the window has a lesson for me. I was flying along, busy with life, enjoying my surroundings. All of a sudden, I ran into something I hadn't seen coming and I couldn't fly around. I was stunned, and staggered back, unsure of what to do. Now the time has come to gather my wits and start flying again...in a new direction. And that's the Lesson of the Bird and the Window.
The Lesson of the Hummingbird? My dad says it's that I'm easily mistaken for a flower!
This morning, Caleb was looking out the window when a bird slammed into the glass! It sort of "staggered back" in the air, gathered its wits, and flew away. When he told me, he hadn't heard my hummingbird story yet. Hmmmm....
After I thought about it for a while, I realized the bird that hit the window has a lesson for me. I was flying along, busy with life, enjoying my surroundings. All of a sudden, I ran into something I hadn't seen coming and I couldn't fly around. I was stunned, and staggered back, unsure of what to do. Now the time has come to gather my wits and start flying again...in a new direction. And that's the Lesson of the Bird and the Window.
The Lesson of the Hummingbird? My dad says it's that I'm easily mistaken for a flower!
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Too Cool!
I just had a hummingbird fly up and look at me through my (second floor) office window! I had to share! Face-to-face, less than three feet apart, separated by only a pane of glass! How cool is that?
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Another Bite of Elephant
Looking back, I think I was afraid of starting an “official Parkinson’s medicine.” Part of the fear was a fear of side effects. I’m a voracious reader, so I always read the side effects on the pharmacy literature. YIKES! (But, have you seen the side effects lists for Advil or Benadryl?!)
I think my greater fear, though, was a fear of being “locked in.” The medicine they wanted to put me on is one of those that you can’t just quit. It takes weeks to ease into a full dose, and weeks to wean back off. If something were to change (divine healing or discovery of misdiagnosis) you can’t just quit the medicine. I believe I was afraid of limiting God by “accepting” the diagnosis of Parkinson’s and starting treatment.
I’m learning, though, that accepting is not the same thing as giving up. God is sovereign--I can’t limit Him by accepting the circumstances He allows in my life. I can, however, limit the ways He can use me by denying what’s going on with me. If I deny the problems I’m facing, how can my experience be a witness to God’s grace at work in me?
I have Parkinson’s -- Parkinson’s doesn’t have ME!! GOD has me! Regardless of my circumstance, He still holds me in the palm of His hand. To some people, the difference in phrasing may seem like mere semantics, but hey--I’m a semantics kinda girl!
I’m learning that I’m still me--just with the addition of Parkinson’s. I still feel things strongly. I still cry when I’m sad...and when I’m happy...and when I “get blessed!” I still have the same weird sense of humor--sometimes to the annoyance of my family!
I sometimes struggle now with fear when I try to picture my future. Barring a miraculous healing or a medical breakthrough, I doubt that my future will match Deuteronomy 34:7. But you know, for years I’ve walked around saying that a crisis doesn’t make us more dependent on God--it just makes us more aware of how dependent we’ve been on Him all along! Once again, God’s given me the chance to “put my money where my mouth is!”
So I've started the medicine -- Mirapex. It seems to be helping a little already.
"Another bite of elephant? Why, yes, thank you...." (munch, munch, munch....)
All the Way My Savior Leads Me
(by Fanny Crosby - a blind hymn writer)
All the way my Savior leads me,
What have I to ask beside?
Can I doubt His tender mercy,
Who through life has been my Guide?
Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,
Here by faith in Him to dwell!
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well;
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well.
I think my greater fear, though, was a fear of being “locked in.” The medicine they wanted to put me on is one of those that you can’t just quit. It takes weeks to ease into a full dose, and weeks to wean back off. If something were to change (divine healing or discovery of misdiagnosis) you can’t just quit the medicine. I believe I was afraid of limiting God by “accepting” the diagnosis of Parkinson’s and starting treatment.
I’m learning, though, that accepting is not the same thing as giving up. God is sovereign--I can’t limit Him by accepting the circumstances He allows in my life. I can, however, limit the ways He can use me by denying what’s going on with me. If I deny the problems I’m facing, how can my experience be a witness to God’s grace at work in me?
I have Parkinson’s -- Parkinson’s doesn’t have ME!! GOD has me! Regardless of my circumstance, He still holds me in the palm of His hand. To some people, the difference in phrasing may seem like mere semantics, but hey--I’m a semantics kinda girl!
I’m learning that I’m still me--just with the addition of Parkinson’s. I still feel things strongly. I still cry when I’m sad...and when I’m happy...and when I “get blessed!” I still have the same weird sense of humor--sometimes to the annoyance of my family!
I sometimes struggle now with fear when I try to picture my future. Barring a miraculous healing or a medical breakthrough, I doubt that my future will match Deuteronomy 34:7. But you know, for years I’ve walked around saying that a crisis doesn’t make us more dependent on God--it just makes us more aware of how dependent we’ve been on Him all along! Once again, God’s given me the chance to “put my money where my mouth is!”
So I've started the medicine -- Mirapex. It seems to be helping a little already.
"Another bite of elephant? Why, yes, thank you...." (munch, munch, munch....)
All the Way My Savior Leads Me
(by Fanny Crosby - a blind hymn writer)
All the way my Savior leads me,
What have I to ask beside?
Can I doubt His tender mercy,
Who through life has been my Guide?
Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,
Here by faith in Him to dwell!
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well;
For I know, whate’er befall me,
Jesus doeth all things well.
Saturday, July 08, 2006
Eating an Elephant
Several people figured out that in my last post, I was referring to the old, corny joke....
Q: How do you eat an elephant?
A: One bite at a time!
--------------
Here's a variation....
Q: How do you deal with "unfixable" bad news?
A: One bite at a time!
------------------
Three months ago, I got that kind of “unfixable” news. On April 6, 2006 (that date is branded in my memory), I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. My first comment was, “This isn’t how I was planning on living the rest of my life!”
My grandpa who “died young” was 87 when he died. My two grandmas were 90 and 95. My other grandpa was 100! All of them were relatively healthy and energetic until the last few years. I had great-grandparents who lived into their 80s and 90s. My parents are in their seventies and still going strong (helping keep up with my toddler niece). My image of my “senior years” was based on Deuteronomy 34:7, “Moses was a hundred and twenty years old when he died, yet his eyes were not weak nor his strength gone.” I figured that with my genetic heritage and the advances in medicine, reaching 120 would be a breeze!
From the beginning of this Parkinson’s journey, I’ve been determined that whatever happened, my goal was the glory of God--whether I live 50 years with Parkinson’s or I wake up healed tomorrow morning. Although that hasn’t changed, I’ve recently realized that something else has.
Although I didn’t realize it at the time, I wasn’t acknowledging the diagnosis or the condition as “mine”. I used words like “they’ve diagnosed me with Parkinson’s,” “the Parkinson’s,” “the symptoms.” Without realizing it, I was very careful not to say things like “I have Parkinson’s,” “my Parkinson’s,” my symptoms.”
I found myself pondering the possibility of a misdiagnosis. Never mind that I was diagnosed at Mayo Clinic, by some of the best in the field. Forget the friends in the medical field who agreed that the diagnosis made sense. Ignore the fact that the diagnosis made me feel as if I finally had all the puzzle pieces in place. I clung to the slim chance that I’d been misdiagnosed.
(...to be continued...)
Q: How do you eat an elephant?
A: One bite at a time!
--------------
Here's a variation....
Q: How do you deal with "unfixable" bad news?
A: One bite at a time!
------------------
Three months ago, I got that kind of “unfixable” news. On April 6, 2006 (that date is branded in my memory), I was diagnosed with Parkinson's Disease. My first comment was, “This isn’t how I was planning on living the rest of my life!”
My grandpa who “died young” was 87 when he died. My two grandmas were 90 and 95. My other grandpa was 100! All of them were relatively healthy and energetic until the last few years. I had great-grandparents who lived into their 80s and 90s. My parents are in their seventies and still going strong (helping keep up with my toddler niece). My image of my “senior years” was based on Deuteronomy 34:7, “Moses was a hundred and twenty years old when he died, yet his eyes were not weak nor his strength gone.” I figured that with my genetic heritage and the advances in medicine, reaching 120 would be a breeze!
From the beginning of this Parkinson’s journey, I’ve been determined that whatever happened, my goal was the glory of God--whether I live 50 years with Parkinson’s or I wake up healed tomorrow morning. Although that hasn’t changed, I’ve recently realized that something else has.
Although I didn’t realize it at the time, I wasn’t acknowledging the diagnosis or the condition as “mine”. I used words like “they’ve diagnosed me with Parkinson’s,” “the Parkinson’s,” “the symptoms.” Without realizing it, I was very careful not to say things like “I have Parkinson’s,” “my Parkinson’s,” my symptoms.”
I found myself pondering the possibility of a misdiagnosis. Never mind that I was diagnosed at Mayo Clinic, by some of the best in the field. Forget the friends in the medical field who agreed that the diagnosis made sense. Ignore the fact that the diagnosis made me feel as if I finally had all the puzzle pieces in place. I clung to the slim chance that I’d been misdiagnosed.
(...to be continued...)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)