Passions vs. Promises

I'm facing a struggle.

I have a passion I want to follow, but I have a promise I've made, that I need to keep.

DON'T WORRY! IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY MARRIAGE! (It has to do with writing.)

I have a writing project that has really caught my imagination. I find myself thinking about it aaallll the time. It feels like fun. I get to look back and see progress right away.

Then, there's the writing project which I've promised to do. If I got it rolling, it would probably take not more than a day or two. There are a lot of people counting on me. but I don't get the immediate "payoff." It could result in a bigger payoff than the passion project--or not.

So, I plan on keeping my promise. I keep it because I look forward to the possible payoff. I keep it because I care about the people who are depending on me to finish. Most of all, I will keep my promise because God keeps His promises, and I want to be like Him. I believe He will bless my commitment and integrity. I don't know how. It may not be the way I expect or hope. But He will. He promised. And He keeps His promises.

Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us;And confirm for us the work of our hands;Yes, confirm the work of our hands.
Psalm 90:17

. . . With Each New Day

I'm baaaack!

Did you miss me?

First  of all, to all you Indy people: if you wanted to have lunch with me but couldn't— count your blessings. Tuesday evening, I came down with some type of flu.  XP   Headache, aches and pains all over, fever, chills, and tummy troubles. Bleagh! In other words, I was sick as the proverbial dog. If you'd had lunch with me, you would probably be well on your way to "sharing in my sufferings."

Then, as the rotten cherry on top of my already rotten day, I got a response to my "note-passing venture." . . . "Looks like a great story, but . . . ."

Boooo for yesterday!

But, I woke up this morning feeling better, with a freezer full of banana popsicles (my favorite flavor), "permission" to wear my pajamas all day and nap whenever I want, and a lead on another agent. Yaaaay for today!

So, for now, I'll continue to write for my Audience of One, in gratitude for the gift with words He has given me, as I wait for His timing on the rest of my dream.

This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I hope in Him!” The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him. It is good that one should hope and wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord.   --Lamentations 3:21-26 

"Elevated" Thinking

This morning, I woke up, opened the drapes and gazed out the window at . . . the Indianapolis Soldiers' and Sailors' Monument! Lloyd had to be in Indy today for a conference, so I tagged along. I'm spending the day reading, writing, and people-watching--in a very nice hotel. In a little while, I may go visit the church across the street.

But for now, here I am, almost eye-to-eye with Lady Whoever-She-Is, on top of the monument. And I've been thinking . . . being on the 20th floor of a building in the center of a city is a little like being God. I can see things that the people on the ground can't see--things on the roof. Things around the corner. Things half a mile or more away.

So while the driver on the ground is stuck in a traffic jam, running late and cursing his luck, I can see the major wreck that has happened four blocks away, that he was "late for"! While the pedestrian is grumbling to herself about having to walk down another block to cross the street, because the drunk at the corner made her uneasy, I can see the piece of decorative stone that falls off a building and lands just where she would have been. While the businessman is frustrated because he's chasing the hat the wind blew off, I can see that running from the other direction to stop the hat is the businessman's long-lost friend, and that they are going to "run into" each other, after all these years.

In other words, my knowledge is "higher" than theirs. If they could see what I can see, their feelings about today would be different.

I wonder what I see as a "curse" in my life, that God knows is really a blessing?

"Please Check One . . ."

Well, my novel is progressing. (Oh you didn't know about the novel? Remind me to tell you later.) Anyway, with the novel making progress, I have begun, at the insistence of my writer-friend, Jim, to begin the search (or should I say application? audition?) for an agent to represent me.

I realized just today what it reminds me of.

When you were a kid in school, did you ever pass, or get passed, a note? Most of us did. How about the famous "note genre" received most often by the popular kids, and passed by only the bravest (or most desperate) of souls—the "do you like me" note.

You remember the drill, don't you? The "liker" would write a note:

do you like me?

__yes

__no

plez chek one

The the "like-ee"  was supposed to mark an X in front of their preferred answer and pass the note back. While the recipient was answering the message, its author waited on pins and needles, hoping for a "yes." Bad news was if they check "no," and even worse was if they checked "no," underlined it heavily, and put several exclamation points after it.

Worst of all, though, was the note that came back with an added category that the recipient had added and checked, "as a friend"! Was that supposed to be a consolation prize? Weren't you already my friend? Thanks, but no thanks.

Like those childhood scribes, I've passed a note. (well, actually, more than one—I'm fickle) I've sent what's known in "'the (publishing) business" as a query letter. Essentially a "do you like me?" note, sent to an agent or editor, introducing myself and my book concept. Now I wait on pins and needles for them to pass the note back. Will they ask to see sample chapters—a "yes"? Will there be no reply—a "no"? Or will it be the customized response of, "Your writing is excellent, but I don't think we're a good fit, and I wouldn't be able to do my best for you." In other words, "I like you as a friend. You're a really great person. It isn't you . . . it's me."

So I sit by the phone  (something my kid's generation knows nothing about!) and wait, figuratively speaking. Will the note get passed back? Will it hold the answer I want?

Will I get an invitation to the dance?